Hello from NaNo Land

NaNoWriMo has consumed my life. Today’s post will be a quick one, after all, upon finishing this, I have to go write at least 1,667 words or else I will not be able to live with myself. That’s the thing about making goals, I become hell-bent on meeting them.

Being a quick write for me, this blog post has the added benefit of being a quick read for you. We all have things to do.

I have gathered a list, based on recent experience, of the top 10 things you can expect the first week of NaNoWriMo, should you attempt 50,000 words in 30 days. At 8,557 words in, I can tell you this:

1. The NaNoWriMo website has an area in which you can update your daily word count. Daily being the big fat lie in that sentence. You will stop every couple hours minutes to update this number. Obsessively. It’s a NaNo addiction.

2. You will burn dinner. Even in a crockpot. I blame the crockpot.

3. For no explainable reason, after having compiled playlists meant for the ideal listening environment while writing, you find you can only write to Film Scores Radio on Pandora. A side benefit is that you learn new things about your spouse, like he can identify every film score known to man. I wasn’t aware mine even knew what Downton Abbey was. And I’m pretty sure he is now secretly listening to the station when he works from home.  Copy cat.

4. Everyone will interrupt you. Multiple times. All in a row. In my house, I swear they gather to strategize in the living room downstairs and then execute their evil plan in quick succession only to return forty-five minutes later and repeat the task. Well played, family, well played.

5. Writing is exhausting, especially if it’s going slow. If it is going slow, I recommend wine. You may not write faster, but you will be happier. Bonus: Most times, wine tones down your inner editor and you DO write faster. And during NaNoWriMo, time matters. Write now, edit later.

6. You will discover a website called Writers on the NaNo forums swear they utilize this when figuring out dialog, but I remain unconvinced. At the top left corner of the screen there are two counting systems, one titled “Lonely People Chatting” and the other “Creepy People Watching You.” Do you really want to be part of that? I have yet to type anything in the given field because I’m pretty sure it is a portal through which Dr. Who aliens invade your home. Either that or it’s the new Tinder, which would be difficult to explain to my husband. Try it out and leave me a comment. If you survive. Or if you hook up.

7. You will cancel awesome plans with close friends involving jalapeño burgers and whiskey smashes because you haven’t achieved your word count. And I really like whiskey smashes. Pout.

8. You’ll decide at 7,800 words into your novel that you should have written it in first person perspective. And then change the entire thing. Nice job newbie.

9. Congratulations! You have finally found a way to reduce time spent on Facebook.  Your narrow window of opportunity becomes 3 a.m. after writing is complete or 7:45 a.m. while waiting with your child at the bus stop. Good job.

10. Sleep becomes a mythical creature that once inhabited your kingdom, spreading kindness and a wealth of tolerance. But NaNoWriMo killed it. This is unfortunate for everyone around you. Just start calling yourself Cranky Pants.


Good luck to all you WriMers out there! Only 41,443 words to go…

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